10 First-date mistakes

The best thing about bad dates is that we walk away with a great story, and little doubt that the perpetrator is not the person for us.

I was thinking about some of the common errors made on first dates. I came up with 10 common mistakes that could kill the chances for a second date:

Arriving late

Even five minutes of lateness is inexcusable on the first date. People are already anxious on these excursions, so making someone wait and think more about everything is pretty rude. Seems like the trend in NYC is to be late for things regularly. On one date, I texted the girl and told her I was running late. She said she was too. We ended up just having the date 1/2 hour later than planned and technically^{1 no one was late because we were both 1/2 hour late together.}

Wardrobe malfunction²

Make sure you cater³ what you wear to what you re doing. I try not to make a girl walk too much if she s in heels. Also, I ve seen girls wear pearls and a nice blouse to trashy outdoor drinking events, or heels to sporting events.

Talking politics or religion

Staying away from debatable content is a good idea the first time out. It s fun to argue with your significant other, but I think it s important to reach a comfort level first. If you try to proselytize⁴ someone, or battle them over a hot topic like abortion^{5, you may reach a point of no return.}

Checking out other people

You d think that no one would do this, but guys are always looking at waitresses, or other patrons when out. One of my friends got in hot water because his date told me he made cat calls at other girls while on a date. Talk about a mistake!

Bringing friends

If you bring friends along you look immature^{6 and insecure. You also throw the other person for a loop if they were expecting the date to be one-on-one. Make sure you establish that it is a one-on-one date, and follow the rules and show up alone.}

Getting too drunk

Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person learn about you while you re sober, before you get wasted with them. Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly, but if a drink or two takes the edge off, and wine adds romance it s fine. Just don t push it too far.

Being too aggressive

No one wants to deal with someone s wandering hands before they are ready. It is one of the best ways to creep someone out. Just because someone is getting dinner with someone once doesn t mean it s an invitation into the sack. It s best to be hands off on the first date.

Being too unaggressive

My friend Margaret warns me to be more aggressive all the time. She said that if I don t kiss someone at the end of a date, or make a move when they hop^{7 in my bed they will begin to think something s wrong with them, or that I m not into them. Maybe that s true, but sometimes I am just being too safe so that I don t break the rule I just mentioned above.}

Canceling at the last minute or standing^{8 someone up}

Canceling for a legitimate^{9 reason is fine, but respect your date s time so that they can plan their night without you. Canceling one hour before a date is not cool — most of the date prep has already started at this point. Standing someone up is so rude. What does it accomplish? If you change your mind, at least have the strength to just cancel. No need to make someone feel bad and waste their time just because you re too chicken to cancel the date.}

Dominant^{10 speaker}

Try to breathe in between sentences, and don t talk too much. Give your date a chance to talk. Aren t you trying to get to know one another? And don t speak for that other person unless they invite you to help with their order.

Do you agree or disagree with any of these? Ever have these happen to you, or have you ever made these mistakes? Would you go on a second date after any of these mistakes? What would you add to this list?