Susan: Okay, I ve got to break the ice here. So you re in counseling1. Big deal. You want humiliation2, I ll give you humiliation. I locked myself out of my house, stark3 naked, and got caught by Mike.
Gabrielle: Oh my God, when did this happen?
Susan: Today. Right before the party.
Mike: What can I say? Right place, right time!
Lynette: I think I can top that. Try getting thrown out of Disneyland for lewd4 behavior.
Susan: What? When was this?
Lynette: When Tom and I were first married, things got a little out of hand on Mr. Toad s Wild Ride.
Rex: You re kidding.
Lynette: No. We got perp walked down Main Street USA.
Gabrielle: Since we re doing true confessions5, Carlos and I once broke a waterbed in Cancun.
Mike: How d you manage that?
Gabrielle: Well, he used to have a thing for spiked6 heels.
Carlos: I d just like to make it clear: she was wearing them.
Bree: Rex cries after he ejaculates.
Bree: So, uh, where will you be going?
Rex: I ll be staying at the Motor Lodge7.
Bree: The hotel by the interstate has better rates, and uh, it s closer to your work.
Rex: Fine.
Bree: I m packing your swimsuit. There s a pool there, and I know how swimming relaxes you.
Rex: When our kids ask where I am, what are you gonna say?
Bree: Um, I could tell them that you went to tennis camp. That was a joke.
Rex: Yeah. I got it.
Bree: There. Obviously, if you ve forgotten anything, you can, um, come right back and get it.
Rex: Well, I ll call you.
Bree: Rex. In college, when we first started dating, people were so jealous of us. We were the golden couple. Everybody knew we were going to have this wonderful life. Why is this happening?
Rex: Because you can t even let me pack my own suitcase.
Susan: Hey!
Julie: Where are you going?
Susan: Just a sec...
Julie: Mom?
Susan: Don t worry, I m not packing heat!
Susan: Hey, Brandi. Could you scoot a little? Just, scoot. Thank you. Hi.
Karl: What are you doing?
Susan: I ll be quick. Brandi, I m sorry for the way I treated you. It was uncalled for and childish8 and it won t happen again. I have built up a lot of anger towards you, both of you, and I realize now that I just can t carry that around anymore, so, apology or no apology, I m moving on.
Brandi: Mrs Mayer!
Karl: Brandi. Brandi, get in the car.
Brandi: Mrs. Mayer...
Susan: Please. Call me Susan.
Brandi: I just wanted you to know what happened between me and Karl, things got out of hand, because I thought your marriage was over. Anyway, I just wanted you to know I m sorry. I really am.
Susan: Thank you.
Mary Alice Young: And though it came from an unexpected source, Susan finally got the apology she always wanted.
妙语佳句，活学活用
1. Big deal
Big deal 的本意是指“重要的人或事”，例如：She is a big deal in local politics. 她在当地政界是个大人物。但是在这里，Susan说的是反语，意思是“不是什么大不了的事”。例如：So you got the job after all-well, big deal!
2. Get out of hand
If situation gets out of hand, it can t be controlled any more. 例如：Things got a little out of hand at the party and three windows were broken.In my first year at college my drinking got a bit out of hand.
3. There
这里可不是“那里”的意思，而是“好了”，有点语气词的味道。比如有人哭的时候，你要安慰她就可以说：There, there. Don t weep any more. 好了，好了，别再哭了。
4. golden couple
在汉语中，我们常说一对夫妻或是情侣很登对、羡煞旁人，在英语中就是golden couple。
5. packing heat
意思就是carrying a gun。想不到吧！在俚语中，pack有carry的意思，heat有gun的意思。这里Julie以为妈妈要和抢走爸爸的女人大打出手，Susan则告诉女儿“自己没有拿枪”。
6. built up a lot of anger
意思是“生了很久的气”。这种搭配有俚语化的倾向，但不失为地道。例如：Lily built up a lot of anger towards her boyfriend. 莉莉生她男友的气生了很久。
7. Move on
这里Susan的意思是：She can t be angry anymore, so she s going to move past it. 不管Karl和Brandi道不道歉，Susan都不再介意了。例如：I realize that I can t carry the depression of getting divorced any more, I m moving on.
