“我打电话给父亲问能不能下班后去看他，我向他保证花不了多长时间，最终他同意了。我一脚跨进门槛说：‘老爸，我来就是为了特地告诉你一声，我爱你。
“听了这话，老爸似乎前后判若两人。只见他脸变得柔和起来，连皱纹似乎也消失了，他泣不成声,伸出手拥抱我说：‘儿子，我也爱你，但这话以前我从来没能说出口。
“那次上门之后过了两天，我的父亲突发心肌梗塞，结果被送往医院，昏迷不醒。我不知道他是否能挺过去。所以我想告诉大家：如果你知道有些事情需要做的话，千万不要等。要是我等到以后再对父亲说‘我爱你’那句话会怎么样呢———也许我永远没有机会了！”
In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the “unpardonable.” I gave the class homework! The assignment was to “go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them.It has to be someone you have never said those words to before or at least haven t shared those words with for a long time.” Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not “macho.”Showing feelings or crying was just not done.So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
At the beginning of our next class,I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them.I fully1 expected one of the women to volunteer, as was usually the case,but on this evening one of the men raised his hand.He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken. As he unfolded out of his chair,he began by saying, "Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment.I didn t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal? But as I began driving home my conscience2 started talking to me.It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to."
"You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious3 disagreement and really never resolved4 it since that time.We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings5.But even then, we hardly spoke6 to each other. So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced7 myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.It’s weird8, but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.
When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her, she didn’t just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged me, and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!"
“The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished9 more in two hours than I had the whole day before."
“At 9:00 I called my dad to see if could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, ‘Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you.’ My dad responded with a grumpy, ‘Now what?’ I assured10 him it wouldn’t take long, so he finally agreed.
“At 5:30, I was at my parents’ house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door."
“I didn’t waste any time – I took one step in the door and said, ‘Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.’
“It was as if a transformation11 came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened12, the wrinkles13 seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, ‘I love you too, son, but I’ve never been able to say it.’
“It was such a precious moment I didn’t want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadn’t felt that great in a long time.
“But that’s not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didn’t tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I don’t know if he ll make it.
“So my message to all of you in this is: Don’t wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad – maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!”
