UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing3 virtue4 without humility5. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil s Dictionary, 1911
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly6 and a bald spot. -- Elayne Boosler
If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed. -- Beau Brummel
People only see what they are prepared to see. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Airplane travel is nature s way of making you look like your passport photo. -- Al Gore8, U.S. Vice9 President
To the ass7, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation. -- Latin Proverb
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham Lincoln
A weed is no more than a flower in disguise. -- James Lowell
There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another to the world. -- Antonio Machado
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains10 unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom
In every man s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations11 of beauty. -- Christopher Morley
The weirder12 you re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. -- P. J. O Rourke
You d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -- Dolly Parton
I base my fashion sense on what doesn t itch13. -- Gilda Radner
Less and grayer hair. -- Cal Ripkin Jr., baseball player, describing how he has changed over the course of his consecutive14 games record
Of the seven dwarves15, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the custom of shaving. -- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All
Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said. -- George Santayana
Why doesn t she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I ve worn the same shirt and shorts for the last four years? -- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated16 television show
A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you. -- Adlai Stevenson
Like a prune17, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter. -- N. D. Stice
All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost; -- J.R.R. Tolkein
Not much meat on her, but what s there is choice. -- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn
I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day. -- Vincent Van Gogh
One may have a blazing hearth18 in one s soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby19 see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way. -- Vincent Van Gogh
A narcissist20 is someone better-looking than you are. -- Gore Vidal
Even overweight cats instinctively21 know the cardinal22 rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. -- John Weitz, American Designer
It is better to be looked over than overlooked. -- Mae West
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. -- Oscar Wilde
Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It s like having a little pet for your face. -- Anita Wise
